I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
