apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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