I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
