i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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