Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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