Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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