Christians are straight up FREAKS
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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