4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
