I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
