matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
