Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
