just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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