Please, let me fuck your mom
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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