I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
