covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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