There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
love makes seman taste better
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
