Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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