I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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