is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I love you.
Bad choice
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
