it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
