I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
