names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
