I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
