She is in my trunk
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
