she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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