Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
