so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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