He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
