that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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