yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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