i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
