Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
