Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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