Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
