It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
not ubering you a puppy
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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