So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
