i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I deserve this hangover.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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