Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize