3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
