I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
