i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
