R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
