HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we made out on top of his cat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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