ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
