a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
