got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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