I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
