Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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