I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
