We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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