Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
