Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Its about making memories worth repressing
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
